aseverenickllanescomplex asked: Why were you trapped on Earth? And what do you think of Earth's deities?
Oh, what a question.
Many strange eons ago, the Great Old Ones and I lived closer to the Outer Gods, by Yuggoth and out that way. It happened that us and some of the Elder Ones (cough, Nodens, cough) had some disagreements and we all decided that it would be mutually beneficial for me and my parish to move AND IF I EVER SEE NODENS AGAIN I WILL SMITE HIM SO BAD HE’LL THINK A SHOGGOTH’S HIS MAMA!
But we settled on Earth happily. It was a time when we did whatever we wanted whenever we wanted, ruling all other creatures with a brutal and whimsy fist. But then some humans started getting upset. God, it’s always humans. “Cthulhu, why did you kill my entire village and make their corpses into marionettes?” Because I need a creative outlet. But they didn’t care. Some wizard dipshits thought they could save everyone by sealing us under the earth and sea. BUT IT’S NOT GONNA WORK BECAUSE I SHALL RISE AGAIN WE ARE THE TRUE RULERS OF THE EARTH! HUMANS ARE BUT FOOLS WHOM WE SHALL USE FOR ARTS AND CRAFTS PROJECTS ONCE MORE!
On to question two. Human deities are… pretty lame. Those of you who follow this blog regularly know that I went on date with Kali, the Hindu goddess of death. Admittedly I was really into her. But it didn’t work out and that’s not surprising. God or goddess aside, it’s the human part that bugs me.
Most human gods just sit around talking about how to save souls. And yeah, Satan and guys like him are into torture and death, but they can just be annoying. For example, Satan will not shut the fuck up about pissing God and Jesus off. Like you suggest killing a few people and he’s like “Oh man, God’ll be so mad let’s do it.” Get over yourself.
Human deities also deny the true gods of the universe, Azathoth and Yog-Sothoth, and insipidly insist that there is order to the world. Laughable. There is only chaos and even we, the great gods, tremble in the face of reality.
